it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
