Welp...herpes.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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