Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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