He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
