Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
