3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
