I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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