I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
