you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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