just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
