So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
