my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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