gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
