is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The beers last night were like the tears from god
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
