Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
