You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
