I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
