The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
