I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
