it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
