So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
