We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
