o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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