just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
