You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
