They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i out mim tonsoeep
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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