Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
