Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
