Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
