I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
