I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think people are normalizing furries
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