they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
