He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
