i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
