walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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