I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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