why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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