forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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