I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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