k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
