just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Everclear isn't food dammit
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
