There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Barsexuality is the new black.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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