I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
whose parrot is this?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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