Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Randomize
