So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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