I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
