fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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