problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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