i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
