dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
